Why I love Dolly Parton: An essay in five parts
Dolly Parton is so cool. She seems like the nicest lady. I have never met her, but when my friend Tanya and I were in Pigeon Forge for the year 2000 grand opening of Dollywood, we met this woman who *has* met her, and she confirmed that Dolly is indeed a nice lady. We never learned the woman’s name, so let’s call her Marge. Marge told us that she had been to the grand opening of every season of Dollywood since the first one. She told us that she has several life-sized cardboard cutouts of Dolly, and she showed us a photo of her and Dolly together. Marge was wearing a shirt with little teeny pictures of Dolly printed all over it which she informed us her husband had made for her. She told us a story about how her children, when they were little, found an oil painting of Dolly for sale at the local mall. Acting quickly, they pooled their money so they could buy the picture for their mom. It was so heartwarming, I swear.
Dollywood is a great place. You can ride in a faux wooden log down a faux raging river, see bald eagles, and marvel at the process by which soap was created in the olden days. You can shop at Lid’l Dolly’s Dress Shop, have some frozen lemonade in a collectable Dollywood plastic hippie mug, and see Heartsong, a multi-sensory music/film experience narrated by Dolly herself. You can listen to Islands in the Stream being blasted out of rocks in the landscape but Ahah! When you look closer they’re not rocks at all! They are speakers, cleverly disguised as rocks. Sneaky! And you have to make sure not to miss The Kinfolks Show, which is a tribute to Dolly performed by her family and friends. It’s a family affair, you see.
I saw a Bravo Celebrity Profile of Dolly and it was very informative and entertaining. Dolly has a sister named Willadene, a brother named Randy, and various other siblings as well. I bet they are nice too. Sometimes, on Thanksgiving, Dollywood is closed to the public and the whole extended Parton family gathers there.
Dolly Parton likes butterflies. She is humbled by the awe-inspiring power of God. She loves her Tennessee mountain home. She can play the banjo.
In today’s times, when everyone is so bitchy and snatchy, I think it’s nice that Dolly Parton is around.
